Their Marriage Practices

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Instructions on Marriage

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We continue with the discussion on Christian Freedoms and its relation to certain evils in this world, particularly fornication. This is a difficult chapter as, in it, Paul speaks four different times against marriage, against the necessity, against the need and against the wisdom of getting married.

1. Verse 1, "It is well for a man not to touch a woman."
2. Verse 8, "To the unmarried and widows, I say that it is well for them to remain single, as I do."
3. Verse25, "Now concerning the unmarried, it is well for a person to remain as I am."
4. Verses 39 and 40, "If the husband dies, she is free to re-marry, but in my judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is."

Now the question is, why did Paul feel this way? Surly, we believe that Paul was led here, as he was every where else, by the Spirit to write what he did. So why was marriage discouraged at that time and does it still apply today?

It would appear that this chapter was written in reply to a letter that the Corinthians had written to Paul. It is described as scripture that deals with matters of "conscience". Their backgrounds, living in a pagan culture, and their position as "babes in Christ", made their conscience of little value to them in determining right from wrong. Marriage and lust was difficult for them to separate. Paul, by the Grace of God, had no problem with this. He had no desire to be married and the lusts of the flesh, were no problem to him also. Also, we must consider the fact that Paul believed that the Second Coming of Christ was immanent, perhaps even in his lifetime.

But he also realized that not everyone was so conceived. So, he sought to find, with the help of the Holy Spirit, a solution for everyone. "I wish that all of you were as I am, but sense you are not, and because of the temptation of immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." So we see that his first reason for suggesting that they might want to get married was to do away with the temptation of fornication.

But we must remember as Paul did that married has responsibilities and these responsibilities take from our time for the Lord and it was because of this that Paul felt we were better off single. However, he acknowledged that this loss of time for the Lord was better than fornication. So, accept your responsibilities as wives and as husbands. You also have certain rights which should be acknowledged by the other. These "Conjugal rights" as Paul calls them, may be put aside for a time but then you must come back together less Satan tempt you through lack of control.

Verse 8 sums up Paul's opinion about marriage. "Remain single if you can exercise self-control, if not, get married."

Divorce

These verses deal with a problem that was a "throw back" to Judaism. The Law of Moses permitted divorce between believers and un-believers. Divorce had been a problem sense the advent of marriage. Marriage, in Corinth, was for legal purposes which included taxes and property. It is used for this purpose even today. But Christians, even Corinthian Christians, felt that there was a spiritual bond to marriage and they needed some instruction concerning the breaking of those bonds. So they had written to Paul for some input into this matter. Paul obliges them in these verses.

The following instructions about divorce were given to the Corinthians.

1. The first instruction concerned divorce between believers. His instruction was "Do not separate." Jesus said something that was similar in Matt. 5:32, "Everyone who divorces his wife makes her an adulteress, with the exception of un-faithfulness. However, Paul says if you do separate, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. Was Paul condemning divorce or re-marriage? Both. Marriage is for life but the facts are that divorce has become increasingly a problem. Each of us needs to determine for ourselves what our stand is concerning this problem. Every church must decide what their stand will be on divorce in general, about divorced people who ask for membership, about divorced officers in the church and about a divorced persons relation to Christ. Is divorce a "forgivable sin"?
2. Instructions about divorce when one is an unbeliever. Paul says in verse 15 that unbelief is reason for divorce, but quickly adds, try even to make this marriage last. Why? He gives three reasons. First, that the children might not be unclean. Children of divorced parents have long had this stigma attached to them. Secondly, that you might be instrumental in saving your unbelieving spouse and thirdly, because the unbeliever is consecrated thru the believer. This is not clear and in many ways, contrary to what Paul says elsewhere. Some translators use the word "sanctified" instead of "consecrated". If this is what Paul was saying, than it merely lays the groundwork for the second reason, the possibility of the Lord using the believer to win the unbeliever to Christ.

These are not just words of instruction about being single, but also words of council about being content in whatever condition that we find ourselves. "Let everyone lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him." This is all-inclusive. it covers burdens, riches, privileges, position in life, gifts of the Spirit, temptations and marital status.

Paul calls this a "general rule". It is the same for every body. It is necessary to level out the extremes. Sometimes we have it so good that we think that we do not need God. Sometimes we have it so bad that we cannot believe that God even exists. Paul is telling us that no matter where in life God has put us, we are to live so as to be a credit to it. Then Paul quickly adds, "This is my rule in all the churches."

We tend to disagree with this rule by our charities, our interference in the lives of others, our constant need to improve ourselves, our need to be associated with people of similar color, background, economic position and life style. At Corinth they had even a greater span of humanity. They had Jew and Gentile, rich and poor, free and slave and black and white, not to mention, married and single. It was difficult to rationalize the differences and there was always the feeling that they needed to try to change something.

Paul mentions some specific cases that we have not though of before, circumcised versus un-circumcised, Paul says that it makes no difference. Whatever you were when you accepted Christ, remain that way as a Christian.

On Staying Single

In these verses we see the real reasons why Paul believed they should not marry. Paul looked at the future perhaps a little different than most first century Christians and this influenced his view about marriage. First, as I have said before, Paul believed that the Second Coming of Christ was immanent. Second, he saw the persecution of Christians as inevitable. This would not be conducive to the raising of children. Thirdly, he believed that marriage and the responsibilities that come with it, take away from a Christian's undivided attention to the Lord.

Notice verse 25, mark it in your Bible. It is the only place in the Bible where Paul suggests that what he was about to say was his own opinion and not a commandment from the Lord. However, he was quick to say that as one, who by the Lord's mercy, was trustworthy, than surly his opinion was worthy of note. "I think." Paul says, "That in view of the 'impending distress', it is well for a person to remain as he is." Paul has seen and had experienced persecution of a nature that these Corinthians, living in a free city, had yet to see, but he knew that the time was coming. They were going to have enough troubles without the responsibilities of marriage. Paul says, "I would spare you that."

To those who were married, he suggested that they live as though they were single. Now this was not a license to desert your spouse nor was it a license to commit adultery. It was emphasizing the need to put their priorities in order. Everything needed to be secondary to their service to the Lord.

To those who had lost loved ones, he suggested that they not mourn but live as though they had experienced no loss. Rejoicing, business, any dealings that they may have had with this world, were to be put aside in order that they might give their undivided attention to the Lord. For Paul said, "The form of this world is passing away." The "form" of this world, the cares of this world, those things that occupies so much of our time, need to be put in their proper place. "I want you to be free of the anxieties of this world."

Can we do this? Do we do this? Is this applicable today?

Concerning Betrothals

A betrothal was similar to our period of engagement. It was a 12-month period prior to the wedding. It was during this period when Mary was betrothed to Joseph that she conceived of the Holy Spirit and was with child, the Lord Jesus. This period was a very strict period in a woman's life and any unfaithfulness could result in her being stoned to death. Normally, it was almost as binding as was marriage, but here Paul says they could do one of two things. You can either go on with the marriage or simply stay as they were in a betrothed arrangement. No allowance is made of a possible third choice, the doing away with the betrothed arrangement much like we break engagements.

The determining factor seems to be if you can keep your desire under control. "If you can and have determined this in your heart, than keep her as your betrothed." "If you cannot, than marry her, it is no sin." "So that he who marries his betrothed does well, but he who refrains from marriage, does better."

I think it is well to remind ourselves of the burden that society put upon women in those days. It believed that it was a disgrace for a woman to remain un-married past a certain age. Many actually considered it a sin. Paul was trying to keep that from happening by allowing them to remain in a betrothed situation and still not under the responsibilities of marriage and free to serve the Lord.

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